the (terrible) advice meme;

[groundrules]

THE TERRIBLE ADVICE MEME

i. Top level with a character and a short problem or scenario for which they'd like advice, input or dis/encouragement. This can be as light ('Garum haunts my dreams,' 'I think my party companion is trying to buy my soul') or serious ('How do I make friends 500 years into tragic immortality?' ) as you like.

ii. Mention in their comment header if they are signed-in or anonymous + content warn as due!

iii. Comment around, troubleshoot woe, give everyone the gift of your character's wisdom this holiday season! Or embrace your inner chaos and make this advice tragically terrible.

Comments

[theflashyfool]

That's disgusting!!! Once a week?? No wonder you can't smell it. Your sense of smell has had to learn to protect itself somehow!

You're getting in that bath, even if I've got to drag you there myself and hold you in!

[bigsmile]

what??? once a week is fine! and there's nothing wrong with my sense of smell, i can smell anything cooking from any distance!

no. never!!

[theflashyfool]

Who even told you that?? Was it Shanks? I bet it was Shanks, that greasy, smelly asshole.

Luffy, it's a bath. It's not soup!! Just get in!

[bigsmile]

SHANKS IS NOT SMELLY, GREASY OR AN ASSHOLE.

and no he didn't tell me that. when i was younger it was like once every three weeks or so. i learned to do better.

no.

[theflashyfool]

I GREW UP WITH HIM, I KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE!!! AND I KNOW HE'S GREASY!!!

Well, learn to do even better, okay, champ? Don't you think your crew wants what's best for you and not to eat you?

Luffy.

[bigsmile]

NO HE ISN'T. TELL ME EVERYTHING.

i don't think they do but they said they wanted to make me soup. like that isn't weird!

( oh no, not his name. that's cheating, Buggy. )

tomorrow?

[theflashyfool]

YES, HE IS!!! YOU NEVER BUNKED WITH HIM!!

They were probably joking!! Learn to laugh!!

[Don't make him pull out the full name, asshole. Maybe he's not so bad at this adult thing after all...]

I'll tell you more about Shanks now if you'll get in the bath and let me scrub a week's worth of dirt off you. I won't even be an asshole about him.

[bigsmile]

YOU BUNKED TOGETHER??!!

( Considering his options right now. )

you tell me everything about shanks, i'll get in the smelly water bath and scrub myself. how about that for a deal?

[theflashyfool]

It wasn't like we had individual rooms!! and we were always together anyway, so it made sense...

[Don't you make it weird, Straw Hat.]

Fine, but if you're not doing a satisfactory job, I'm making you scrub everything again.

[bigsmile]

you made it sound terrible the last time you mentioned shanks. bunking together. wow.

( it's getting weird in his head. )

i know how to wash, you're scary but you've got nothing on makino.

[theflashyfool]

Yeah, well.

It wasn't always terrible.

[bigsmile]

of course it wasn't, it was shanks.

fine, i'll take this bath, but any soup motions and i'm out.

[theflashyfool]

He's charming, I'll give him that. And deal. I won't let anyone make you into soup, champ.

[Ugh, everybody better appreciate this sacrifice. Being nice about Shanks physically pains him.

Also belatedly.]

You think I'm scary?

[Aw, Luffy... 🥺]

[bigsmile]

he really is. and you'd say that, i'm still gonna keep an eye out.

( Luffy appreciates the sacrifice. )

you can be anything if you put your mind to it?

[theflashyfool]

As if I'd let annnnybody else kill you, and if I do it myself, it's going to be flashier.

[He has standards, please.]

Well, right now, it's storyteller, so get those clothes off and in the tub, champ. What do you want to hear about dear old Shanks?

[bigsmile]

you won't kill me but i look forward to the effort you put into it.

alright alright. start from the beginning? everything.

[theflashyfool]

We'll see about that, Straw Hat.

From the beginning? I mean, I'll do as far back as I remember, sure...