MEME | rate that a................ bility to stay alive?

[aprescoup]

for a good survival time, call...
A PG-13 MEME NEAR YOU

1. leave a top-level comment with your character's name for glorious shaming
2. tag around with your characters' impressions of their fellow hooligans comrades, rating their prowess on a 1-5 worst-to-best scale, on the following items.
3. Add or subtract as many ★ or ★ as needed to make a final rating!


<big><font face="Georgia"><i>bravery</i> <font color="orange">★★★</font>★★ <i>quippy wit</i> <font color="orange">★★★</font>★★ <i>honour</i> <font color="orange">★★★</font>★★ <i>odds of surviving a pack of thugs</i> <font color="orange">★★★</font>★★ <i>odds of leading said pack of thugs</i> <font color="orange">★★★</font>★★ <i>odds of being gently but firmly rejected if applying to join a pack of thugs</i> <font color="orange">★★★</font>★★ <i>likelihood of awkwardly, accidentally or stupidly betraying the party</i> <font color="orange">★★★</font>★★ <i>is this person going to survive the dead?</i> <font color="orange">★★★</font>★★ <i>would this person be better off dead?</i> <font color="orange">★★★</font>★★ <i>would you trust this person with your safety?</i> <font color="orange">★★★</font>★★ <i>is this person why we're going to fail the mission, whatever the mission?</i> <font color="orange">★★★</font>★★ <i>likelihood to yeet themselves off a cliff</i> <font color="orange">★★★</font>★★ <i>odds that this person will one day snap and kill us all</i> <font color="orange">★★★</font>★★ <i>would you want this person to have your back in a dramatic stand-off?</i> <font color="orange">★★★</font>★★ <i>is this person why we're always out of money?</i> <font color="orange">★★★</font>★★ <i>does this person even know what money is?</i> <font color="orange">★★★</font>★★ <i>would this person suit as your choice of a virgin sacrifice?</i> <font color="orange">★★★</font>★★ </font></big>

Comments

Beitang Moran

[beitangmoran]

[downswing]

bravery
★★★★★

quippy wit
★★★★★

honour
★★★★★

odds of surviving a pack of thugs
★★★★★

odds of leading said pack of thugs
★★★★★

odds of being gently but firmly rejected if applying to join a pack of thugs
★★★★★

likelihood of awkwardly, accidentally or stupidly betraying the party
★★★★★

is this person going to survive the dead?
★★★★★

would this person be better off dead?
★★★★★

would you trust this person with your safety?
★★★★★

is this person why we're going to fail the mission, whatever the mission?
★★★★★

likelihood to yeet themselves off a cliff
★★★★★

odds that this person will one day snap and kill us all
★★★★★

would you want this person to have your back in a dramatic stand-off?
★★★★★

is this person why we're always out of money?
★★★★★

does this person even know what money is?
★★★★★

would this person suit as your choice of a virgin sacrifice?
★★★★★

[topoiran]

bravery
★★★★★

quippy wit
★★★★★

honour
★★★★★

odds of surviving a pack of thugs
★★★★★

odds of leading said pack of thugs
★★★★★
Odds would greatly increase if pack of things useful for the good of all.

odds of being gently but firmly rejected if applying to join a pack of thugs
★★★★★

likelihood of awkwardly, accidentally or stupidly betraying the party
★★★★★

is this person going to survive the dead?
★★★★★

would this person be better off dead?
★n★e★v★e★r

would you trust this person with your safety?
★★★★★

is this person why we're going to fail the mission, whatever the mission?
★★★★★

likelihood to yeet themselves off a cliff
★★★★★

odds that this person will one day snap and kill us all
★★★★★

would you want this person to have your back in a dramatic stand-off?
★★★★★

is this person why we're always out of money?
★★★★★

does this person even know what money is?
★★★★★

would this person suit as your choice of a virgin sacrifice?
★★★★★

[somebadnews]

bravery
★★★★★
hasn't seen him lose his shit yet

quippy wit
★★★★★

honour
★★★★★

odds of surviving a pack of thugs
★★★★★

odds of leading said pack of thugs
★★★★★
ehh doesn't give off thug vibes

odds of being gently but firmly rejected if applying to join a pack of thugs
★★★★★

likelihood of awkwardly, accidentally or stupidly betraying the party
★★★★★
actually seems competent good job!

is this person going to survive the dead?
★★★★★
future seeing and all gives him an advantage

would this person be better off dead?
★★★★★

would you trust this person with your safety?
★★★★★
this is a high score for him???

is this person why we're going to fail the mission, whatever the mission?
★★★★★

likelihood to yeet themselves off a cliff
★★★★★

odds that this person will one day snap and kill us all
★★★★★

would you want this person to have your back in a dramatic stand-off?
★★★★★
yes, give him a heads up thanks

is this person why we're always out of money?
★★★★★
he's part of the reason why Five sleeps on a bed of money, so...

does this person even know what money is?
★★★★★

thankfully does not

would this person suit as your choice of a virgin sacrifice?
★★★★★

[jeoha]

bravery
★★★★★

( Hasn't had a lot of time to test it, but he seems stalwart enough? )

quippy wit
★★★★★

( Would do well in the palace, god damn it )

honour
★★★★★

( Seems honourable enough? But definitely got a bit of a sly vibe. )

odds of surviving a pack of thugs
★★★★★

( Alone he might have some trouble )

odds of leading said pack of thugs
★★★★★

( Or at least convincing said thugs to work for him. )

odds of being gently but firmly rejected if applying to join a pack of thugs
★★★★★

likelihood of awkwardly, accidentally or stupidly betraying the party
★★★★★

( Doesn't seem the type to do anything awkwardly, accidentally or stupidly. )

is this person going to survive the dead?
★★★★★

( Probably )

would this person be better off dead?
★★★★★

( stay alive pls )

would you trust this person with your safety?
★★★★★

( probably, but lee chang's paranoia runs deep )

is this person why we're going to fail the mission, whatever the mission?
★★★★★

( Not likely )

likelihood to yeet themselves off a cliff
★★★★★

( doesn't seem the type )

odds that this person will one day snap and kill us all
★★★★★

( Nah, Lee Chang's pretty sure this one has a better survival instinct than that. )

would you want this person to have your back in a dramatic stand-off?
★★★★★

( Sorry Moran he wants someone who actually thinks their magic is magic and is useful )

is this person why we're always out of money?
★★★★★

does this person even know what money is?
★★★★★

( Seems to have a monetary minded mind)

would this person suit as your choice of a virgin sacrifice?
★★★★★

( unlikely to be a virgin )

[weifinder]

bravery
★★★★★

* has handled situation well, more than brave enough and sensible

quippy wit
★★★★★

* he's fun to listen to and talk with

honour
★★★★★

* he might give full marks but the end truth is he doesn't know you or your breaking points and he's been screwed over by the honourable before so what does this matter?

odds of surviving a pack of thugs
★★★★★

* depending on sheer numbers and if any had beyond human scope abilities or could block his ability to read their coming moves

odds of leading said pack of thugs
★★★★★

* if it served a purpose he agreed with or sensibly decided was necessary

odds of being gently but firmly rejected if applying to join a pack of thugs
★★★★★

* he has ARM MUSCLES who is going to turn him away

likelihood of awkwardly, accidentally or stupidly betraying the party
★★★★★

* accidents happen

is this person going to survive the dead?
★★★★★

* every indication to this point is yes

would this person be better off dead?
★★★★★

* WHY IS MURDER A QUESTION

would you trust this person with your safety?
★★★★★

* to an average degree when facing not-beyond-human-levels of opponents, he's a fighter he can handle himself

is this person why we're going to fail the mission, whatever the mission?
★★★★★

* only through factors beyond his knowing or control, but seems much less likely than others

likelihood to yeet themselves off a cliff
★★★★★

* if the cliff is short and survivable, yes

odds that this person will one day snap and kill us all
★★★★★

* low does not mean impossibly, but still, low chances

would you want this person to have your back in a dramatic stand-off?
★★★★★

* depends on what kind of dramatic, but he trusts him more than not

is this person why we're always out of money?
★★★★★

* he does not seem money aware, but is helpful in Wei Wuxian's pursuits of money

does this person even know what money is?
★★★★★

* he's highly uncertain of this given the existence of that other guy

would this person suit as your choice of a virgin sacrifice?
★★★★★

* NO SACRIFICES. NONE! only Wei Wuxian is meant for that thanks

[descendency]

bravery
★★★★★
sassy but refuses to acknowledge that he has a husband. weak as hell.

quippy wit
★★★★★
occasionally savage, mingyu offers 3 stars for sheer brutality.

honour
★★★★★
mingyu senses more ruthless pragmatism.

odds of surviving a pack of thugs
★★★★★
will his husband be present? if not, dock two points.

odds of leading said pack of thugs
★★★★★
will his husband be present? if so, five stars. generally speaking, this man man carries the stench of the ruling class about him.

odds of being gently but firmly rejected if applying to join a pack of thugs
★★★★★
depends on the pack of thugs really, will either nominate him king or toss him on his ass in mingyu's humble opinion.

likelihood of awkwardly, accidentally or stupidly betraying the party
★★★★★
beitang moran does not strike mingyu as someone who often does things out of awkwardness, incident, or stupidity.

is this person going to survive the dead?
★★★★★
moran seems like he takes care of his and his own.

would this person be better off dead?
★★★★★
but marry your husband before mingyu gets fed up with it and puts one of you in the ground for the narrative development.

would you trust this person with your safety?
★★★★★
moran is responsible and intelligent but not particularly... equipped to guarantee anyone's safety here.

is this person why we're going to fail the mission, whatever the mission?
★★★★★
unlikely but reserving one star for love confessions at an inopportune time, dooming us all.

likelihood to yeet themselves off a cliff
★★★★★
too level headed.

odds that this person will one day snap and kill us all
★★★★★
highly unlikely, but sometimes it's the quiet one.

would you want this person to have your back in a dramatic stand-off?
★★★★★
better than no one, probably.

is this person why we're always out of money?
★★★★★
having his own sugar daddy prevents this ranking from being higher.

does this person even know what money is?
★★★★★
'it's a banana xunxian what could it cost, six rubies?'

would this person suit as your choice of a virgin sacrifice?
★★★★★
may not be a virgin but would look pretty on a sacrificial altar

lan wangji | the untamed

[downswing]

It's okay, he knows what he did.

[darkeststars]

bravery
★★★★★
ok Wangji he's gotta give you this one at least

quippy wit
★★★★★
negative 20

honour
★★★★★
probably? he doesn't know your life

odds of surviving a pack of thugs
★★★★★
yeah this dude's gonna fuck em up

odds of leading said pack of thugs
★★★★★
he's not cool enough

odds of being gently but firmly rejected if applying to join a pack of thugs
★★★★★
mmmhmmmmmmm

likelihood of awkwardly, accidentally or stupidly betraying the party
★★★★★
stranger things have happened

is this person going to survive the dead?
★★★★★
he'll make it to the end and probably regret every second of most of it

would this person be better off dead?
★★★★★
he thinks if anyone should slay Lan Wangji it should be 1) him 2) with some kind of really good ice burn comeback. look an asshole can dream okay.

would you trust this person with your safety?
★★★★★
With his life. Not with a lot of other things, but absolutely with his life.

is this person why we're going to fail the mission, whatever the mission?
★★★★★
Probably not but he does have an odd habit of turning up with weird moral qualms about wild things Arche does not comprehend at the last minute.

likelihood to yeet themselves off a cliff
★★★★★
..........I don't go here but I think there's something about MDZS and cliff yeeting. If for some reason necessary???

odds that this person will one day snap and kill us all
★★★★★
well they're not zero

would you want this person to have your back in a dramatic stand-off?
★★★★★
Not his first choice but highly acceptable.

is this person why we're always out of money?
★★★★★
He....... tries...... probably...... maybe

does this person even know what money is?
★★★★★
we are not convinced he does

would this person suit as your choice of a virgin sacrifice?
★★★★★
Possibly. This man is totes obviously a virgin right????? That's Arche's personal theory and he will stick to it until definitive further notice. Obviously he's right thank u. Obviously.

[somebadnews]

bravery
★★★★★

quippy wit
★★★★★
Five probably reads too much into it tbh

honour
★★★★★
to the point that it's annoying... followed him all the damn way home

odds of surviving a pack of thugs
★★★★★

odds of leading said pack of thugs
★★★★★

odds of being gently but firmly rejected if applying to join a pack of thugs
★★★★★

likelihood of awkwardly, accidentally or stupidly betraying the party
★★★★★

is this person going to survive the dead?
★★★★★

would this person be better off dead?
★★★★★
let him do some math and get back to you

would you trust this person with your safety?
★★★★★
other people? sure. his? probably recently... went down a star

is this person why we're going to fail the mission, whatever the mission?
★★★★★

likelihood to yeet themselves off a cliff
★★★★★

odds that this person will one day snap and kill us all
★★★★★
not inconceivable...

would you want this person to have your back in a dramatic stand-off?
★★★★★
would he though

is this person why we're always out of money?
★★★★★
doesn't come across as a big spender, no

does this person even know what money is?
★★★★★

would this person suit as your choice of a virgin sacrifice?
★★★★★
he has a son right??

[jeoha]

bravery
★★★★★

( pretty sure this guy isn't exactly sure what fear is )

quippy wit
★★★★★

( or what quips are )

honour
★★★★★

( but damn if he isn't going to honourably stand there refusing to banter with you )

odds of surviving a pack of thugs
★★★★★★★★★

( rip thugs )

odds of leading said pack of thugs
★★★★★

( already rip )

odds of being gently but firmly rejected if applying to join a pack of thugs
★★★★★

( the white will throw off their thug aesthetic )

likelihood of awkwardly, accidentally or stupidly betraying the party
★★★★★

( Accidentally, and probably out of putting honour above sense )

is this person going to survive the dead?
★★★★★

( possibly immortal...?? )

would this person be better off dead?
★★★★★

( Nah, he likes this one. )

would you trust this person with your safety?
★★★★★

( would, has, will )

is this person why we're going to fail the mission, whatever the mission?
★★★★★

( unlikely, unless something has happened to make him stubborn )

likelihood to yeet themselves off a cliff
★★★★★

( Possibly?? High likelihood of possibly being able to fly somehow. )

odds that this person will one day snap and kill us all
★★★★★

( It would be more of a slow, grating creak than a snap )

would you want this person to have your back in a dramatic stand-off?
★★★★★

( First choice in this ragtag bunch of misplaced miscreants )

is this person why we're always out of money?
★★★★★

( Incense is so expensive Wangji )

does this person even know what money is?
★★★★★

( Severely unlikely )

would this person suit as your choice of a virgin sacrifice?
★★★★★

( Unclear. Would be high potential except that Wei Wuxian definitely gives off "I tapped that" vibes in Wangji's direction)

[scrapgege]

bravery
★★★★★

quippy wit
★★★★★

honour
★★★★★

odds of surviving a pack of thugs
★★★★★

odds of leading said pack of thugs
★★★★★★★

odds of being gently but firmly rejected if applying to join a pack of thugs
★★★★★★

likelihood of awkwardly, accidentally or stupidly betraying the party
★★★★★

is this person going to survive the dead?
★★★★★★★

would this person be better off dead?
★★★★★

would you trust this person with your safety?
★★★★★

is this person why we're going to fail the mission, whatever the mission?
★★★★★

likelihood to yeet themselves off a cliff
★★★★★

odds that this person will one day snap and kill us all
★★★★★

would you want this person to have your back in a dramatic stand-off?
★★★★★

is this person why we're always out of money?
★★★★★

does this person even know what money is?
★★★★★

would this person suit as your choice of a virgin sacrifice?
★★★★★

Archeval (Sith Inquisitor) | ✨star war✨

[darkeststars]

 

[downswing]

bravery
★★★★★

quippy wit
★★★★★

honour
★★★★★

odds of surviving a pack of thugs
★★★★★

odds of leading said pack of thugs
★★★★★

odds of being gently but firmly rejected if applying to join a pack of thugs
★★★★★

*The thugs might be intimidated.

likelihood of awkwardly, accidentally or stupidly betraying the party
★★★★★

is this person going to survive the dead?
★★★★★

would this person be better off dead?
★★★★★

would you trust this person with your safety?
★★★★★

is this person why we're going to fail the mission, whatever the mission?
★★★★★

likelihood to yeet themselves off a cliff
★★★★★

odds that this person will one day snap and kill us all
★★★★★

would you want this person to have your back in a dramatic stand-off?
★★★★★

is this person why we're always out of money?
★★★★★

does this person even know what money is?
★★★★★

would this person suit as your choice of a virgin sacrifice?
★★★★★

Su Xunxian

[topoiran]

[downswing]

bravery
★★★★★★

quippy wit
★★★★★

honour
★★★★★

odds of surviving a pack of thugs
★★★★★★

odds of leading said pack of thugs
★★★★★

odds of being gently but firmly rejected if applying to join a pack of thugs
★★★★★

*thugs like erotica and obscenities

likelihood of awkwardly, accidentally or stupidly betraying the party
★★★★★

is this person going to survive the dead?
★★★★★

would this person be better off dead?
★★★★★

would you trust this person with your safety?
★★★★★

is this person why we're going to fail the mission, whatever the mission?
★★★★★

likelihood to yeet themselves off a cliff
★★★★★

odds that this person will one day snap and kill us all
★★★★★

would you want this person to have your back in a dramatic stand-off?
★★★★★

*he's a poet and an artist, and he keeps talking to rats.

is this person why we're always out of money?
★★★★★

*he knows what Su Xunxian helps Wei Ying create

does this person even know what money is?
★★★★★

would this person suit as your choice of a virgin sacrifice?
★★★★★

Lan Sizhui

[paperbutterflies]

[downswing]

bravery
★★★★★

*best boy

quippy wit
★★★★★

*best boy, but still dad's boy, the lack of banter's in the bloodline
**yes, even when you're adopted

honour
★★★★★

odds of surviving a pack of thugs
★★★★★

odds of leading said pack of thugs
★★★★★

odds of being gently but firmly rejected if applying to join a pack of thugs
★★★★★

*you're doing amazing, sweetie!!!!!

likelihood of awkwardly, accidentally or stupidly betraying the party
★★★★★

is this person going to survive the dead?
★★★★★

would this person be better off dead?
★★★★★

*NO???

would you trust this person with your safety?
★★★★★

is this person why we're going to fail the mission, whatever the mission?
★★★★★

likelihood to yeet themselves off a cliff
★★★★★

* YOU ARE NOT YOUR YILING FATHER'S SON

odds that this person will one day snap and kill us all
★★★★★

would you want this person to have your back in a dramatic stand-off?
★★★★★

is this person why we're always out of money?
★★★★★

* it's all right, he learned to finesse money off strangers young

does this person even know what money is?
★★★★★

would this person suit as your choice of a virgin sacrifice?
★★★★★

Lee Chang

[jeoha]

Everyone wanted a civil war, right? Right?? Merry Christmas

[downswing]

bravery
★★★★★

*he has a bodyguard...

quippy wit
★★★★★

honour
★★★★★

odds of surviving a pack of thugs
★★★★★

odds of leading said pack of thugs
★★★★★

odds of being gently but firmly rejected if applying to join a pack of thugs
★★★★★

likelihood of awkwardly, accidentally or stupidly betraying the party
★★★★★

is this person going to survive the dead?
★★★★★

would this person be better off dead?
★★★★★

would you trust this person with your safety?
★★★★★

★★★★★ if we count his bodyguard

is this person why we're going to fail the mission, whatever the mission?
★★★★★

likelihood to yeet themselves off a cliff
★★★★★

*There's a whiff about him.

odds that this person will one day snap and kill us all
★★★★★

would you want this person to have your back in a dramatic stand-off?
★★★★★

* YES BUT WITH BODYGUARD

is this person why we're always out of money?
★★★★★

does this person even know what money is?
★★★★★

would this person suit as your choice of a virgin sacrifice?
★★★★★

Number Five | The Umbrella Academy

[somebadnews]

[downswing]

bravery
★★★★★

quippy wit
★★★★★

honour
★★★★★

*could be lower, but he's young enough to grow out of it, once the demon exits his body.

odds of surviving a pack of thugs
★★★★★

*the demon is strong.

odds of leading said pack of thugs
★★★★★

*the demon is enterprising.

odds of being gently but firmly rejected if applying to join a pack of thugs
★★★★★

likelihood of awkwardly, accidentally or stupidly betraying the party
★★★★★

is this person going to survive the dead?
★★★★★

would this person be better off dead?
★★★★★ for Five, ★★★★★ for the demon in his body

would you trust this person with your safety?
★★★★★

is this person why we're going to fail the mission, whatever the mission?
★★★★★

likelihood to yeet themselves off a cliff
★★★★★

odds that this person will one day snap and kill us all
★★★★★

would you want this person to have your back in a dramatic stand-off?
★★★★★

is this person why we're always out of money?
★★★★★

does this person even know what money is?
★★★★★

would this person suit as your choice of a virgin sacrifice?
★★★★★

* CANNOT SACRIFICE THE DEMON

Emmet "Fox" Martin

[foxable]

Guessed who just finished their herpetology exam you are right and it is me and not this guy because who needs exams when you can just fuck off and do some magic am i rite

[darkeststars]

bravery
★★★★★★★★
THAT'S TOO MANY BRAVERY PUT SOME BACK

quippy wit
★★★★★
this dude talks a mile a minute sometimes Arche can't fully keep up with his train of thought

honour
★★★★★★★★
THAT'S TOO MANY HONOR PUT SOME BACK YOU MUST ALSO PURCHASE SOME SELF PRESERVATION

odds of surviving a pack of thugs
★★★★★
why hasn't Mingyu wrapped you in seven layers of bubble wrap yet

odds of leading said pack of thugs
★★★★★
only if they agree to restrict their tomfoolery to very nicely asking people to hand over their cash if they can spare some and playing a nice card game with the other pack of thugs down the street to decide whose territory it is this week

odds of being gently but firmly rejected if applying to join a pack of thugs
★★★★★
they are not signing up pacifists, try the chess club next door.

likelihood of awkwardly, accidentally or stupidly betraying the party
★★★★★
Arche fully believes this is definitely, absolutely going to happen and it's going to be because something shiny and magic and distracting popped up

is this person going to survive the dead?
★★★★★
he has firsthand knowledge that scary Canadian cultivator Batman is going to personally cut anybody who so much as looks at the guy the wrong way soooooo

would this person be better off dead?
♾★★★★★

would you trust this person with your safety?
★★★★★
wow no he's pretty sure Fox makes a room 25% less safe by existing in it

is this person why we're going to fail the mission, whatever the mission?
★★★★★ if it's something boring
★★★★★ if there's something unrelated and magic/supernatural involved

likelihood to yeet themselves off a cliff
★★★★★
is there a shiny thing giving off terrifying magical vibes at the bottom of the cliff? there he goes

odds that this person will one day snap and kill us all
★★★★★
he got mad at Arche for killing a marauding zombie actively trying to murder us sooooooooo

would you want this person to have your back in a dramatic stand-off?
★★★★★
he can think of worse people but

is this person why we're always out of money?
★★★★★
seems... to have a reasonable head on his shoulders? maybe? not sure

does this person even know what money is?
★★★★★
???

would this person suit as your choice of a virgin sacrifice?
★★★★★
he's definitely not a virgin and Arche would like to stop knowing about party members' sex lives yesterday (that is not an invitation to try and time travel to fix it for him please resist the urge to solve this problem with science magic)

Xiao Xingchen

[binghua]

[downswing]

bravery
★★★★★

*that dead man rep

quippy wit
★★★★★

honour
★★★★★

*we know what you did last summer

odds of surviving a pack of thugs
★★★★★

odds of leading said pack of thugs
★★★★★

*leeway for Xue Yang

odds of being gently but firmly rejected if applying to join a pack of thugs
★★★★★

*again, have to factor in the Xue Yang influence

likelihood of awkwardly, accidentally or stupidly betraying the party
★★★★★

*this is just "How Xue Yang messed up Xiao Xingchen's credit score, the meme"

is this person going to survive the dead?
★★★★★

would this person be better off dead?
★★★★★

would you trust this person with your safety?
★★★★★

is this person why we're going to fail the mission, whatever the mission?
★★★★★

likelihood to yeet themselves off a cliff
★★★★★

*ffs, we know what you did last autumn too

odds that this person will one day snap and kill us all
★★★★★

would you want this person to have your back in a dramatic stand-off?
★★★★★

is this person why we're always out of money?
★★★★★

does this person even know what money is?
★★★★★

*yes, he talks in poor

would this person suit as your choice of a virgin sacrifice?
★★★★★

Xianxian the Yiling Patriarch (Wei Wuxian)

[weifinder]

YEETING OFF A CLIFF, HUH

lmf I'll try to hit everyone up in the next few nights, slides off cliff until then

[downswing]

bravery
★★★★★

quippy wit
★★★★★

honour
★★★★★

odds of surviving a pack of thugs
★★★★★

odds of leading said pack of thugs
★★★★★

odds of being gently but firmly rejected if applying to join a pack of thugs
★★★★★

*sometimes he is too dirty for thugs; thugs have standards

likelihood of awkwardly, accidentally or stupidly betraying the party
★★★★★

is this person going to survive the dead?
★★★★★

*he is twice dead and talks to the dead for a living

would this person be better off dead?
★★★★★

*can we please not

would you trust this person with your safety?
★★★★★

is this person why we're going to fail the mission, whatever the mission?
★★★★★

*he's going to find a Wen somewhere in need of protection, watch him

likelihood to yeet themselves off a cliff
★★★★★

*Wangji out

odds that this person will one day snap and kill us all
★★★★★

would you want this person to have your back in a dramatic stand-off?
★★★★★

is this person why we're always out of money?
★★★★★

*(sugar) Yiling daddy

does this person even know what money is?
★★★★★

would this person suit as your choice of a virgin sacrifice?
★★★★★

*we are not killing him again. It's getting boring. No bueno. No kill.

bai mingyu

[descendency]

[darkeststars]

bravery
★★★★★
hm, average? he seems like he keeps his head down.

quippy wit
★★★★★
no he doesn't think you're funny shutup

honour
★★★★★
Surprisingly trustworthy... on certain topics. On others, hm, the jury's out.

odds of surviving a pack of thugs
★★★★★
Might not be able to take them all but will either seduce them, blackmail them, or send them home crying.

odds of leading said pack of thugs
★★★★★
this is a man who gets what he wants ok.

odds of being gently but firmly rejected if applying to join a pack of thugs
★★★★★
nah he'd have them all wrapped around his little finger.

likelihood of awkwardly, accidentally or stupidly betraying the party
★★★★★
Like Five, if he betrays us all it will probably be on purpose.

is this person going to survive the dead?
★★★★★
This would've been 3 or 4 before but now Fox is here lmao. Arche's pretty sure who he'll prioritize in an emergency.

would this person be better off dead?
★★★★★
He just got to see his boy again. Not fair.

would you trust this person with your safety?
★★★★★
Mostly. Minus one star because if Mingyu had to throw absolutely anybody under the bus for Fox then well...

is this person why we're going to fail the mission, whatever the mission?
★★★★★ if his own incompetence
★★★★★ if Fox got into trouble and the only way Mingyu could fix it was by fucking everyone over

likelihood to yeet themselves off a cliff
★★★★★
He has that vibe.

odds that this person will one day snap and kill us all
★★★★★
He also has that vibe.

would you want this person to have your back in a dramatic stand-off?
★★★★★
Can he fight? Arche doesn't know but he's pretty sure Mingyu would keep people off his back.

is this person why we're always out of money?
★★★★★★★★★★
Nah, he's paying the way for half of us.

does this person even know what money is?
★★★★★
Surprisingly despite being a richie rich he clearly does.

would this person suit as your choice of a virgin sacrifice?
★★★★★
Yet another person whose sex life Arche knows about and does not want to! Oh boy!

jiang cheng

[consignation]

[downswing]

bravery
★★★★★

*likely shudders to be giving Jiang Cheng a decent score

quippy wit
★★★★★

honour
★★★★★

odds of surviving a pack of thugs
★★★★★

odds of leading said pack of thugs
★★★★★

*Qinghe Nie ase martial, Yunmeng Jiang are outright thug

odds of being gently but firmly rejected if applying to join a pack of thugs
★★★★★

likelihood of awkwardly, accidentally or stupidly betraying the party
★★★★★

is this person going to survive the dead?
★★★★★

would this person be better off dead?
★★★★★

*one ★ deducted just for Wei Ying's dreadful tears :)

would you trust this person with your safety?
★★★★★

is this person why we're going to fail the mission, whatever the mission?
★★★★★

likelihood to yeet themselves off a cliff
★★★★★

*only if yeeting themselves would be unhelpful

odds that this person will one day snap and kill us all
★★★★★

would you want this person to have your back in a dramatic stand-off?
★★★★★

*he has sadly done it and lived

is this person why we're always out of money?
★★★★★

does this person even know what money is?
★★★★★

would this person suit as your choice of a virgin sacrifice?
★★★★★

*matchmaker records attest

Winnifred Prismall | Original

[soulsrob]

[darkeststars]

bravery
★★★★★
From what he can tell she seems like she's got a set.

quippy wit
★★★★★
She definitely kept up handily with Arche when they talked!

honour
★★★★★
From what he can tell so far she seems okay... pretty much like a normal person... she's a good actress lol...

odds of surviving a pack of thugs
★★★★★
Maybe if she could pay them a ransom. That's a rich people thing right.

odds of leading said pack of thugs
★★★★★
She did say she'd happily join the army if she could, so clearly this girl's got some ambition.

odds of being gently but firmly rejected if applying to join a pack of thugs
★★★★★
ehhhhh she doesn't exactly have the vibe

likelihood of awkwardly, accidentally or stupidly betraying the party
★★★★★
???? Maybe through eagerness at getting to explore the place but she seems okay so far.

is this person going to survive the dead?
★★★★★
She's just so enthusiastic about being in the middle of this mess.

would this person be better off dead?
★★★★★
nah she seems chill.

would you trust this person with your safety?
★★★★★
may...be? He doesn't know Winnie that well but if it came down to it he's pretty sure it'd be him protecting her instead of the other way around.

is this person why we're going to fail the mission, whatever the mission?
★★★★★
She seems a little sheltered but hardly incompetent.

likelihood to yeet themselves off a cliff
★★★★★
Sneaking suspicion there is a non-zero possibility she would do this because something about it looked fun.

odds that this person will one day snap and kill us all
★★★★★
Naaaaaah. She's obviously harmless. Obviously.

would you want this person to have your back in a dramatic stand-off?
★★★★★
He'd rather a closer acquaintance, but Winnie seems like she might be able to talk her way out of trouble!

is this person why we're always out of money?
★★★★★
No real idea but he's inherently cynical about nobles.

does this person even know what money is?
★★★★★
See above.

would this person suit as your choice of a virgin sacrifice?
★★★★★
Seems legit.

Vanya | The Umbrella Academy

[remugient]

[downswing]

bravery
★★★★★

quippy wit
★★★★★

*WORSE BANTER THAN WANGJI'S, KEEP HER AROUND TO FEEL BETTER

honour
★★★★★

odds of surviving a pack of thugs
★★★★★

odds of leading said pack of thugs
★★★★★

odds of being gently but firmly rejected if applying to join a pack of thugs
★★★★★

likelihood of awkwardly, accidentally or stupidly betraying the party
★★★★★

*she apparently watched her family traumatise her ghost-seeing brother, so

is this person going to survive the dead?
★★★★★

would this person be better off dead?
★★★★★

would you trust this person with your safety?
★★★★★

is this person why we're going to fail the mission, whatever the mission?
★★★★★

likelihood to yeet themselves off a cliff
★★★★★

odds that this person will one day snap and kill us all
★★★★★

*always the mewling ones

would you want this person to have your back in a dramatic stand-off?
★★★★★

is this person why we're always out of money?
★★★★★

*she got them chickens!

does this person even know what money is?
★★★★★

would this person suit as your choice of a virgin sacrifice?
★★★★★

Xie Lian || Tian Guan Ci Fu/Heaven Official's Blessing

[scrapgege]

[downswing]

bravery
★★★★★

quippy wit
★★★★★

honour
★★★★★

odds of surviving a pack of thugs
★★★★★

*he seems to land in dreadful circumstances but survive

odds of leading said pack of thugs
★★★★★

odds of being gently but firmly rejected if applying to join a pack of thugs
★★★★★

likelihood of awkwardly, accidentally or stupidly betraying the party
★★★★★

is this person going to survive the dead?
★★★★★

*cockroaching along

would this person be better off dead?
★★★★★

would you trust this person with your safety?
★★★★★

is this person why we're going to fail the mission, whatever the mission?
★★★★★

likelihood to yeet themselves off a cliff
★★★★★

*has the Wei Ying vibe

odds that this person will one day snap and kill us all
★★★★★

would you want this person to have your back in a dramatic stand-off?
★★★★★

is this person why we're always out of money?
★★★★★

*finally someone worse than Wangji

does this person even k★now what money is?
★★★★

would this person suit as your choice of a virgin sacrifice?
★★★★★

*secret kissing pervert