the (terrible) advice meme;

[groundrules]

THE TERRIBLE ADVICE MEME

i. Top level with a character and a short problem or scenario for which they'd like advice, input or dis/encouragement. This can be as light ('Garum haunts my dreams,' 'I think my party companion is trying to buy my soul') or serious ('How do I make friends 500 years into tragic immortality?' ) as you like.

ii. Mention in their comment header if they are signed-in or anonymous + content warn as due!

iii. Comment around, troubleshoot woe, give everyone the gift of your character's wisdom this holiday season! Or embrace your inner chaos and make this advice tragically terrible.

Comments

nami (opla, anon)

[cartographie]

I live with four men.

Two don't bathe
One keeps leaving body parts everywhere
The last one is well behaved in comparison but talks to my breasts a lot.

Tips on not killing them?

[downswing]

Kill them.

[cartographie]

I can't. They're my friends.

[downswing]

Consider new company.

[reparo]

Throw them all overboard.

[cartographie]

That would definitely kill two of them.

[reparo]

What? Why? How?!

[cosplayqueen]

.................


Okay, so I don't believe in killing, so maybe a spray bottle??? One with soap. You can get them clean and make the guy looking at your boobs blind for a hot minute. I have nothing for body parts guy.

Seriously now might be the time to move in with some girls. I know some great ones who won't stare at your boobs and like to stay clean!

[cartographie]

I've never had friends that are girls. Is it really that peaceful?

[cosplayqueen]

It is for me. One of my besties is a girl! All my girlfriends here are so great. They're pretty, smart, and charming.

To be honest so are the guys?? I'm actually surprised this is your experience. Is it back home or here? Because I can punch boob guy and will if he tries that on me.

[traaaaaash]

move out

[cartographie]

They would be lost without me

[traaaaaash]

so let them figure it out

you did say they were men, right? adults?

[theflashyfool]

[HEY.

HEY.

Don't be so damn obvious next time!!]

See if I clean around the house again.

[cartographie]

I tripped on your leg five times when you left it in the hallway

[theflashyfool]

I know!!! Just because it's not attached doesn't mean I don't feel it.

Or that I don't notice the bruises! Why can't you watch where you're going?

[bigsmile]

what? i don't talk to your breasts.

[cartographie]

You don't bathe either.

[bigsmile]

and i don't leave body parts around the place.

huh.

[silverneedles]

Move out. When they complain and beg for you to return, provide a list of demands.

Alternatively, blind the one who talks to your breasts, hide the body parts so the third learns a lesson, and dumb the other two into bathtubs with the help of friends.

[cartographie]

He can summon his body parts back to him at will or I would have hidden them already.

[silverneedles]

Even from a distance?

[nothinglikefather]

kill them
or move out if you're opposed to that.

[cartographie]

You're not the first person to suggest either of those. Starting to think I should at least spend a few days away to let them see how they get by without me.

[damnable]

The first sentence was already my nightmare.

Godspeed to ya.

Maybe offer them something they like for like at least weekly baths.... gods, it must smell wherever you live.